


all that you are is all that I'll ever need

by everdeenwayland



Series: my theonsa fics [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Pining, and that's canon, slowburn, theon greyjoy is the softest person alive when it comes to sansa stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:58:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19006264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everdeenwayland/pseuds/everdeenwayland
Summary: In retrospective, she should have seen this was a bad idea, wait, not exactly a bad idea but the worst idea ever.(The truth is that she kind of knew that, the truth is that she hadn't care at all when she agreed to it,and, the truth is that she fucking cares now.)So, that's the thing, Theon Greyjoy, aka her former teenager crush, wants to fake date her for a day.Or the fake date au no one asked for.





	1. i. stranger

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really happy with the result of this ?? but enjoy it anyway! ill probably upload the next chapter in a week or so cause im super busy with my exams rn so I apologize in advance :(

 

 

i.

In retrospective, she should have seen this was a _bad_ idea, wait, not exactly a _bad_ idea but the _worst_ idea ever.

(The truth is that she kind of knew that, the truth is that she hadn't care at all when she agreed to it,

and, the truth is that she _fucking_ cares now.)

 

ii.

And, somehow, she has ended up sit on Theon's lap drinking beer and laughing with him, the both of them drunk off their asses and she is so in love with him it's hurting her. And he grins at her like she is the sun and maybe, and only maybe, Margaery was right about one thing.

She is going to get her heart broken by Theon Greyjoy.

 

iii.

It doesn't start like most stories do, with a building tension that gets anyone hooked to, no, it starts in an unexpected kind of way.

One second, she is in her apartment looking bored at her Instagram feed and the next, he is in front of her door, looking at her with a pleading look on his eyes she's never seen. And, it's not that she doesn't like the sight of him —let's all be honest here Theon Greyjoy is someone she'd gladly do, but she doesn't quite get _what_ is he doing in her apartment.

"Is Robb dead?" She blurts, the first thing that comes to her mind.

Theon scoffs.

"What the hell Sansa? Of course not." He replies, entering her house without asking first.

And, of course, Lady, her dog, goes to greet him with an eagerness Sansa's not accustomed seeing in her. Theon grins at Lady and he starts to play with her ears. He has always been a dog type of person, and that much is clear when he only laughs when her dog licks his face, covering him in dog’s drool, his face is open in a childlike fashion. She has never seen Theon Greyjoy looking that happy.

(If _that_ makes her a little jealous, she doesn’t say a thing, although she is not sure of  _who_ she is jealous of.)

"Then why are you here?" She asks him.

"Do I need an excuse to hang out with my favorite Stark?" He says, and she can't help but let out a sonorous laugh.

"What? We both know I am your least favorite Stark." She replies with a humorous laugh still on her lips.

"C’mon Sans, Rickon is a baby and Bran is only funny when he is high, the rest of time he is just… weird.” He argues.

“Rickon is fifteen, he is hardly a baby.” She protests.

Rickon has always been the baby in her family, that’s true, but she knows how much he hates being called that and, Sansa Stark may say many things but, at the end of day, all she cares about is her family.

“Still, I’d rather hang out with you than with them.” He confides her, masking his confession with a tone of indifference in his voice she does not believe for a moment.

Because Theon Greyjoy likes to pretend he doesn’t care, it’s a known fact, but he _does_ care. She has seen that side of him through the years, a fragile boy trying to look tougher than he really is.

(And she knows why he does it, after all, it’s a game she has learned to master too, the sublime play of not letting people into her heart.

She may be a slow learner, but she _learns_.)

“And I guess I should be flattered by that, shouldn’t I?” She teases him.

“Oi you wound me, I thought we were friends Stark.”

"I... I guess we are." She says with a wearier tone than she intended to.

She feels a little guilty about doubting the nature of their friendship, they have never been close, it’s more like they kind of gravitated around Robb and found each other in the way. He’s never been _her_ friend, but he is never been a stranger to her neither.

But every remorse she has about it is the moment she sees the way he is smiling at her, like the cat that got the cream. And that can only mean troubles, ridiculous unnecessary troubles for her.

(Theon Greyjoy has always been a synonym for _trouble_ , not that she had cared about it in the past.

Not that she cares about it in the present.)

"And that's why I need to ask you a little favor,  _friend."_

She doesn’t trust him, like, _at all_. He is going to ask her to bury a corpse or something like that, probably her brother’s corpse, since he had asked _her_ and not _him_ to help him. Maybe he has killed Grey Wind and wants to find a spare dog to replace him. She isn’t sure _what_ he wants, but what she is sure of is that it can’t be anything good, not when he is smiling innocently at her, not ever.

"I was right, wasn't I? You haven't come here just to hang out." She remarked.

"It's not you, sweetheart, I love spending time with you, really, I do.” He winks at her before continuing, as if _that_ proves his point. And, it might, but not in that context. “But _this_ is a life or death situation."

It really isn’t, of that Sansa is sure. He wouldn’t have come to her if that were the case.

"Well just tell me and we'll see what we can do about that." She says, a playful smile on her lips.

"I need you to pretend dating me."

 

iv.

And she laughs. And laughs. And laughs.

There's no way he is being serious about that.

 

v.

It turns out, he is. 

 

vi.

So, that's the thing, Theon Greyjoy, aka her former teenager crush, wants to fake date her for a day. More accurately, in a few weeks during a dinner with his family.

"Why me? I mean, Arya seems like a far better option for you." She asks, genuine curiosity on her voice.

Even when she fancied him, she knew they weren’t going to be a good match, and that hasn’t changed a bit. She is aware that if she kissed him, he’d probably return the kiss, and, surely, even do more than just kiss her. But that’s the end of it, Theon Greyjoy doesn’t do relationship _or_ compromises and Sansa Stark is all about relationships _and_ compromises.   

"First of all, Arya is like a little sister to me, it would feel wrong.”  He stars saying with a grimace of disgust, and she can’t help but raise her eyebrow at him. “And, second of all, Dany knows Arya is dating Gendry, so it’s a no no."

She thought that the situation couldn’t get more funnier, but oh boy it does.

“So Arya is like a sister to you but not me? Interesting.” She says a smug smile on her lips.

She can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes he has made a mistake; his eyes go wide open and his mouth lets out a silent gasp. And, for once in her life, she feels like she has full control of a situation.

“Shit, I… I didn’t want to say it that way, sorry, just don’t tell Robb please.” He pleads.

“Don’t worry about it, but that still doesn’t explain why me tho, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of girls to call.” She says nonchalant.

“I mean, it doesn’t _have_ to be you, you know, but I wanted my mom to think that for once I can do something right” He explains to her, slightly embarrassed.

The confessions catch her by surprise, putting a soft smile on her face. And, surely, she should think more about his idea, should study the warning signs of accepting to help him, but she feels way too proud to be _something right._

(And that feeling does not arise any suspicion on her, not at all. For someone so aware of people’s feelings about her, she is a fool when it comes to her own.

Or, alternatively, she is a fool when it comes to Theon Greyjoy.)

She can see the surprise in his blue eyes when she extends her hand for him to grab it.

"You owe me a big one Greyjoy, and I’m planning on taking advantage of that." She warns him.

Theon beams at her words, the relief clearly on his eyes, and he shakes her hand.

(And if he caresses her hand while doing it, she does not say a thing about it, too busy looking at his soft smile. She may or not may be recalling why she had spent most of her teenager years daydreaming about _that_ smile. He has nice lips, nice _kissable_ lips.

Objectively speaking, _of course._ )

"I sure do, Stark, you've saved my life." 

 

vii.

“So, let me get this clear, you told your mom and your sister that you were dating a girl for months when you weren’t?” She asks him, incredulous.

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised.” He replies with an innocent smile she doesn’t bought for a second.

She lets out a big laugh while he just looks at her with an oddly look of proudness in his eyes.

“I can’t believe you, really, I _can’t.”_

 

viii.

It turns out, planning the details of their story is far more complicated than she anticipated.

It’s not just the story on itself but the prelude to it, because Theon told her Yara must believe them, and she is the smartest one of the Greyjoy siblings. 

(He laughed when she said that to him, throwing his head back like a little boy, and if she stared maybe a little too much, nobody noticed.)

“Presumably we’ve dating for months, right? But we don’t have any photo together or anything like that.” She says idly while looking through her Instagram.

He is in her house again, the third time this week, and it’s only Thursday. And, it’s not like she is going to complain about it, really, but she knows Robb might find it kind of weird.

(It really is weird, hanging out with his brother best friend, her former crush, her _fake_ boyfriend. But, maybe hanging out with him is not the weirdest thing they are currently doing.

Hanging out with Theon Greyjoy is not the same thing as faking a relationship, _that_ is weird.)

“Of course, we don’t you don’t want your family to know and Robb would kill me if he knew. We are like the Romeo and Juliet of our time.” He replies with a grin.

“As long as we don’t end up like them.” She laughs.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not planning on dying anytime soon.” He promises and immediately Lady licks his face earning a groan of disgust from him.

Sansa laughs and laughs, all her worries forgotten.

 

ix.

 **Sansa** (12:34)

Hey

What’s your favorite color?

 

 **Theon** (12:45)

Blue.

 

 **Sansa** (12:46)

What shade?

**Theon** (12:47)

Does it matter?

 

 **Sansa** (12:49)

 Of course it does! I need to buy a nice dress for the dinner so I can impress your mom.

 

x.

He knows she is only saying that to help him because she is a good _friend_ but the thought of Sansa Stark wanting to impress _his_ mom is making his stomach do weirds flips. And, apparently, not only his stomach because Yara is looking at him amused behind the bar counter.

“And here I though you were lying when you said you had a girlfriend.” She teases him and throws a wet dishcloth at his face.

He laughs and shakes his head, but he makes sure to remember later to show Dany a few embarrassing photos of her sister, in revenge.

 

xi.

 **Theon** (12:50)

Cyan.

Like your eyes.

 

xii.

The fact that Theon has just said that his favorite color is cyan like her eyes does not make her smile. Absolutely not.

 

xiii.

It does.

 

xiv.

Days pass and Theon is starting to become a constant in her life. He makes sure to spend as much time as he possibly can with her, to make their lie believable. Or that is what she tells herself.

(There’s no other explanation for that, is there?)

She has learned about his parents, how his mother left his house and took Yara and him with her. She has learned about his dream to sail somewhere far from here; about his desire of something _greater_ ; about his fear of abandonment, although he never told her that, but she read it in between the lines.

But she also has learned that Theon Greyjoy is by far, one of the nicest people she has ever known under all his pretenses.

 

xv.

The thing about making Sansa Stark laugh is that it is something precious not everyone is capable of, and he, Theon Greyjoy, has done it. And he is proud, oh, he is. She laughs at his stupid ideas, she laughs with his stupid puns, she laughs and laughs, and he is starting to get addicted to that sweet sound.

And _that_ is a problem, because when all of this ends, he is going to miss that laugh in a way he’s never missed anything in his life.

 

xvi.

“Theon Greyjoy if you are banging my sister I swear to the old gods, the new gods, to every fucking god in every fucking heaven that I’ll kill you.” Robb tells him.

“I’m not banging your sister Robb calm down.” He replies to him, his eyes focused on his phone.

He really isn’t but he wishes he _was_. And, of course, Robb isn’t supposed to know that. Not if he wants to live another day.

“So, what’s the explication to this?”

And when he sees it, he doesn’t blame Robb for thinking _things_. That’s the thing, she told him that posting that to her instagram stories would convince anyone that there is something between them and he agreed to it. But, apparently, he hasn’t thought about it properly, because the sight on Sansa Stark with his favorite “Iron born” shirt with a caption of a black heart emoji is making his heart —and his dick, dance in his chest. She looks gorgeous, her hair disheveled and a smile in his lips. And he let himself imagine that _this_ is real for a second.

“I… It’s a funny story, you are going to laugh.” He tries to say.

Robb looks at him with a face that tells him that _laughing_ is the last thing he is going to do.

 

xvii.

He ends up surviving, surprisingly. But not for much time, because he is sure the sight of Sansa Stark in a blue dress is going to kill him.

She is always been beautiful, there’s no doubt about that, but, in that moment, she looks like a _fucking_ mermaid. And he has always had a thing for mermaids, the side effects of growing up in island.

(And he has always had a thing for Sansa Stark too, although that’s entirely his fault.)  

 

xviii.

And the big day arrives, the grand finale.

(She tells herself she is not nervous, it's not like they are really dating, she doesn't need to impress his mother.

She doesn't need to, but maybe a deep hidden part of her wants to.)

Theon drives them both to her mother's house on Pyke, a couple hour ride from her house. She tried to tell him that she is an excellent driver and that her car is comfier than his, but he shook his head and told her that he owed that to her too.

(She smiled to herself and thought that this was starting to look more and more like a date.

She thought that _maybe_ that wasn’t a bad thing.)

They spend most of the car ride talking about their plan, finalizing the last details.

“Don’t stress so much about it, Sans, the worst thing that could happen is that they discover our lie, and that would be my fault.” He reassures her, a soft smile on his lips.

“It’s not just that, I know it may sound stupid but I kind of want to make a nice impression on your mom. The last time I did something like this was when I was with Joffrey and his mother didn’t like at all.” She confesses.

He doesn’t take his eyes from the road and she is grateful about it, she doesn’t want to see the pity in his eyes nor the grimace everyone makes when she talks about Joffrey. And she gets it, she didn’t but now she does, he is an asshole and didn’t deserve any of her love.

“My mom is not Cersei Lannister and I’m not Joffrey, Sansa, if you feel uncomfortable at all tonight, let me know and we leave, okay?” He says softly and, even though she can’t see his eyes from her seat, she knows he is telling her the truth.  

She nods but doesn’t say anything more, her head filled with all kind of anxious thoughts. Suddenly, she feels his hand reaching for her, in an attempt to comfort her. And with, that, she just knows.

Theon has never lied to her, not in the way some other men have done, not in any way. He is probably, the only guy apart from her family she can trust. Theon Greyjoy with his lopsided grin and his bright eyes would never lie to her. Not now, not ever.

Something warm is tingling in her chest. She tries her best to ignore it.

She fails.

 

xix.

They get off his car, and he kiss her head and he is not sure if he does that to comfort her or himself. He knows his mother is watching them from the inside of her house, and he tries to look as relaxed as possible, taking Sansa’s hand in between his.

She sighs and he can’t feel but find it funny, how nervous she is about meeting _his_ mom, even though they aren’t really dating. But that’s Sansa Stark trademark, worrying too much about making a good impression.

(Not that she needs to, he knows his mom is going to absolutely adore her. There’s no way any person could not.)

His mom comes out of the door the moment they get to the porch, opening the door with a wide smile and he drops Sansa’s hand to hug her tightly.

 

xx.

She looks at them, hugging each other, and she feels out of place, suddenly. She wants to run and hide, her anxiety bubbling on her stomach.

“I’ve missed you so much.” His mother whispers.

“I’m so glad to be back home, mom. This is Sansa Stark, the girl I told you about.” He says, turning to hold her hand.

He squeezes her hand softly, a warm smile on his lips, a gesture she deeply appreciates. And then, her mother turns to her.

Alannys Greyjoy isn’t what she thought she would be. She expected someone like Yara. She expected Alannys to dislike her on the instant she laid her eyes on her, after all, she is the daughter of Ned Stark.

What she doesn’t expect at all is for her to embrace her in a tight hug. Nor does she expect her face turns soft at the sight of her, a warm smile on her lips. She can see in her so much of Theon, his softness, his kindness.

She likes her on the instant.


	2. ii. problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She has that kind of power, she embellishes any type of place where she is with her stunning long legs and her ethereal red hair. The sun shines brighter wherever Sansa Stark is, and that is a known fact.  
> (Or, perhaps, he is being a bit exaggerated.)  
> (Probably not.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm not really happy with how this turned out but here's anyway. this was going to be a 5k chapter but it would take me too long to upload so I decided to break it on two chapters so I can upload another one next week. hope you enjoy it <3  
> like always english isn't my first language so feel free to tell me any mistakes made :)

xxi.

Of all the things that Theon could have ever imagine, Sansa Stark in the middle of his old room wasn’t one of them. He has never liked this room —the walls were never the right kind of blue and he couldn’t see the beach from his windows— but with Sansa there, he thinks that maybe it isn’t so bad.

She has that kind of power, she embellishes any type of place where she is with her stunning long legs and her ethereal red hair. The sun shines brighter wherever Sansa Stark is, and _that_ is a known fact.

(Or, perhaps, he is being a bit exaggerated.)

(Probably not.)

 

xxii.

“I can’t believe you still have this!” She says, a book in her hands.

He looks at it, and, for a second, he has no idea what she is talking about, but then, he sees it. The book she gave to him when she left to study at King’s Landing.

The stupid book he never read but kept just because it had been a gift from Sansa.

“Aye, I’d never throw a gift, even if it’s a book.” He replies to her, an easy smile on her lips.

“Don’t be like that, it’s a really good book, one of my favorites ever.” She confides to him, caressing the cover page.

“I’ll try to read it, no promises sweetheart.” He tells her, taking the book from her hands.

She smiles at him, beaming like the _fucking sun_ and he feels the sudden need to kiss her. His hand reaches for her face, pushing some strands of her hair away form her face, and he drinks of the sigh of her. She looks absolutely gorgeous in that blue dress, but he is sure she’ll be even more beautiful without anything on.

And he shouldn’t be thinking those things, not when they have a dinner to attend, not when he knows there’s no way Sansa could think of him like _that_ , not ever.

(He shouldn’t, that’s right, but he knows he is a weak man and that dreaming of unobtainable possibilities is something he has mastered between the years.)

 

xxiii.

In the end, is Yara’s voice what stops his train of thoughts and he’s never been gladder to hear her voice that in that exact moment when he was about to do something stupid like kissing her.

(Or telling her how in love with she he is.)

Something he ought not to.

 

xxiv. 

“You are far too pretty to be dating my brother.”

He feels the squeeze Sansa gives to his hand, a look of apprehension crossing her eyes. Yara looks at them with a stern face before breaking into a big grin, extending her hand to shake Sansa’s.

 “I’m Yara, the good-looking Greyjoy.” She says with a smug face.

Sansa shakes her hand while letting out a soft laugh that makes her eyes brighten and Yara, Yara _fucking_ winks at her.  knows what she is doing. She is flirting with her just to rile him, the way she had always done. Normally, he’d laugh and let it slip, but this is Sansa _fucking_ Stark and he is not going to lose her over his sister.

(He is aware that is not like he _has_ her in the first place, of course, but if _this_ were a real competition, he wouldn’t lose. Not when the prize is _her_.)

“Last time I checked, I was still alive huh.” He says, putting his arm around her shoulders, his hand landing on the softness of her skin.

  He begins to play absentmindedly with her hair trying to distract himself from the way Yara is watching him, her mouth curving into a knowing smile that he does not like at all.

“I hate to break it up to you babe, but she has a point.” Sansa intervenes, a playful smile on her lips.

He can’t focus on anything that is not the fact that Sansa Stark has just called him _babe_ and is now staring at him with a soft expression on her beautiful blue eyes and he wants to kiss her senseless.

But his sister’s laugh wakes him up from _whatever_ the hell he was thinking.

 “I can’t believe my girlfriend is betraying me in my own house.”  He sighs.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic you baby.” Yara tells him, punching him on the shoulder while smiling at Sansa.

He can tell his sister likes her and even though their whole relationship is fake, he feels an oddly sensation of proudness at that. He brings Sansa closer to him, kissing her hair. They had talked about it, the gestures of affection, and they had agreed that anything that wouldn’t have Robb ripping his head off is approved.

(He believes Robb would kill him if he lays a hand on her in any way, even at the smallest of touches, but he doesn’t tell her that.)

“Where’s Dany? I thought she was here already.” He asks Yara.

“And she is, she’s just in the backyard feeding Drogon.” She replies nonchalant.

“He must be so big now, it’s surprising you let him into your car considering how much you love that old piece of crap you call car.” He jokes.

“Excuse you, _Black Wind_ isn’t scrap, it’s a relic.” Yara snaps at him, punching his shoulder, and his only reply is a laughter.

Sansa looks at him with an intrigued face.

“She named her car; can you believe it?” He tells Sansa while raising an eyebrow.

“Theon you call your coffee maker _Roslin_.” Sansa smirks.  

“ _She_ is a lady and deserves a name.” He says, outraged.

Sansa giggles, and he can’t help but smile at the sight of her. He can feel Yara’s eyes boring into him, but he doesn’t care at all.

He does not care about anything other than the fact that Sansa Stark is currently in his arms giggling because he said something.

Maybe, and only maybe, he is a little infatuated by her.

But only maybe.

 

xxv.

She likes Yara. It’s not like she disliked her in the first place, but she never _talked_ to her, and now seeing the Greyjoy siblings together, she can understand why Theon loves her so much. Yara is charismatic in a way she _actually_ likes, not like the people in King’s Landing.

Theon and Yara aren’t nothing like her siblings, they make fun of each other competing to see which one of them can say the funnier insult to the other. But not in a mean way. She now understands why Theon is the way he is, always ready for a banter or a tease.

She likes knowing this kind of things about him.

(She likes knowing _anything_ about him, although she’d never admit _that._ )

Theon looks at her, a happy smile on his lips, and she is starting to be glad to have come here. But then, Sansa sees _her_.

Daenerys _fucking_ Targaryen.

Seven hells.

 

xxvi.

So, here’s the thing, she doesn’t _hate_ Daenerys. Sansa Stark doesn’t really hate people —except Joffrey, but _everyone_ hates him— but that doesn’t mean she _likes_ her.

It all began when Daenerys started to date Jon the second Ygritte broke up with him. Some people said he cheated on Ygritte with her, but Jon wasn’t capable of doing such thing. She knew Jon didn’t, but the news of him dating Daenerys weren’t very accepted by the Starks.

Dany was the CEO of Targaryen’s Industries, her family business during generations, and the reason her business was successful after the disaster her father, Aerys, did. So, when Jon came home saying he was dating their one competitor on the market, her family didn’t take that well. He also said that was a great opportunity to merge their company with hers.

Robb had laughed at him, mistaking his pretenses for a joke, but her father didn’t. No, he got angry and he lectured Jon with an anger she had never seen it again on him.

She doesn’t want to even remember that day.

Luckily for everyone, Jon and her stopped dating not long before that. And she hasn’t seen her anymore, that’s it until that day of course.

 

xxvii.

He feels Sansa stiffen by her side and he curses every god that exist for forgetting the fact that Dany and Sansa just don’t get along. Seeing her with his sister almost everyday made him forget that she used to date Jon. Yes, not his brightest moment.

He knows Dany doesn’t hate Sansa, she doesn’t like her either, but he is sure that is because she doesn’t really know her. There’s no one capable of not liking Sansa.

Although now, watching the way Sansa’s eyes seems to glare daggers at her, he kind of understand why Dany isn’t her biggest fan.

(And he shouldn’t find Sansa’s clearly hostility _that_ hot but there’s something so attractive in her anger he fears he is going to pop a boner right there.

There’s something wrong with him,—

 but who cares at this point?)

Yara looks at him and he can tell that she is exactly thinking what he is. And he can also tell that she is a bit more confused about the whole deal than him so probably Dany didn’t tell her about it.

“So, babe, that’s Sansa, Theon’s girlfriend.” Yara says cautiously, putting her arm over Dany’s shoulders.

“Yeah, I know. We’ve met before.” Dany replies, her blue eyes fixed on Sansa, her face unreadable.

He doesn’t know how his sister can read her, to him she is practically a mystery, her expressions always so guarded, diplomacy poured into every word she says. Yara must had gotten all the braincells when she was born, leaving none to him.

“I didn’t know you were dating Yara now.” Sansa stated, calmer than before.  

“We’ve been together for almost two years now.” Dany replies, looking briefly at her girlfriend with a faint smile on her lips before returning her eyes to Sansa. “I didn’t know you were dating Theon.”

Dany looks at him now and he can see the smallest hint of a question in her eyes. A question he doesn’t know. Sansa’s body comes closer to him and he raises his hand again to touch the back of her head.

“Nobody does really, we’ve been keeping it quiet to not upset anyone, kind of figuring things first you know.” She tells her, and even though there’s a smile on her lips, it doesn’t reach her eyes.

It’s not a surprise she can’t pretend dating him makes her happy, she is not that good of an actor, but the fact still hurts him nevertheless.

 

xxviii.

There’s something in the way he looks at Daenerys she doesn’t like. But she must be imagining things, right? He didn’t like her sister’s girlfriend, that isn’t possible. Or maybe it is, and she is fooling herself thinking otherwise.

And the thing is that it makes sense, the whole fake dating thing just to make her jealous or to prove to her that he doesn’t like her. Sansa knows there is no way Theon would like her if Daenerys is in his life, reality hitting her harder than ever.  

Daenerys is beautiful, more than that, she is _fucking_ gorgeous and she can’t even compare to her. Men fell constantly at her feet, and honestly it is not surprising at all. God if Daenerys hadn’t dated Jon, she would probably be at her feet too.

This isn’t a competition for Theon’s affection, because if it _were_ , she would have already lost.

(She tries not to think about the connotations of her feelings towards him, she really does, but she fails anyways.)

 

xxix.

“I’m glad you two are together, you had so much chemistry back them when I dated Jon that I thought you were a couple.” Dany tells them a smile on her lips.

And that is a thing he hasn’t had any idea of.

“You never told me that.” He replies to her, a lopsided grin on his lips.

“Well, I thought you knew that. Like you knew how in love with her you were, I mean, are.” Dany says nonchalant.

He groans. The last thing he needs right now is for Sansa to know how much he talked about her, she doesn’t need to know about his feelings about her and the wicked smile on his sister lips tells him that she is about to embarrass him.

“Yeah, remember how you wouldn’t shut up about her? I mean, it was endearing at first but then it was so annoying.” Yara interjects.

Dany looks at her and he swear to God he is going to kill the both of them for this. No wonder they make such a great couple.

“Did you really?” Sansa asks him, a playful smile on her lips.

“Don’t listen to them love, they don’t know what they are talking about.” He protests.

Yara let out a loud laugh.

“I have a few snapchat videos of you that prove otherwise.” She mentions looking at her nails, like she hasn’t just threatened him.

“Let him be, babe, you Greyjoy are the worst when it comes to your feelings.” Dany intervenes and he shoot her a thankful smile.

“Hey, I’m not that bad, we are together, aren’t we?” She asks her.

“Only because I did most of the work, duh.”

“And that’s why I love you.”

He loves this, the familiar banter of Dany and Yara, having Sansa by his side, it makes him feel like his life is not that bad. The only bad part is that Sansa isn’t really his girlfriend, and that they are pretending, but he can live in this lie for a few more hours, right?

 

xxx.

“You like her?” She asks him when Yara and Dany disappear.

“Aye, she is so cool, can you believe she used to sing in a rock band? God Yara was drooling so much when she showed us her old photos, it was a little pathetic to be honest.” He replies, a bottle of beer on his hand.

“I mean like _like_ her.” Sansa tells him, her eyes eluding his.

“What the fuck Sans of course I do not, she is dating my sister. What kind of prick you think I am?” He asks her, a hint of irritation on his voice.

They are on his backyard, the two of them sitting outside, enjoying the sun and the smell of sea. His house is nothing liker hers, a rich manor house with lots of lands and history, no, his is a little townhouse in one of Pyke’s suburb. The only thing they have that the Stark don’t is the proximity to the beach, one of the things he misses most when he is on Winterfell. There’s nothing like the smell of sea salt in the morning, the caress of the wind on your face.

“I, I don’t know. You seem to care a lot about her and I… I thought that maybe you brought me here to prove something to her or to you. It’s stupid don’t mind me.” She mutters.

“Nah, I wouldn’t do that, I thought you knew me better than that tho.” He jokes but she doesn’t laugh at it.

She doesn’t even smile at him.

“Hey Sansa, are you alright? I know you think you don’t like Dany at all, but you have more things in common that you believe.” He tells her.

Sansa turns her head to watch him, her eyes looking for something in his face that she seems to not find.

“Yes, it just that I was surprised when I saw her here. I’m not going to start a scene or anything during dinner if that’s what you are worried about.” She promises him, her brow furrowed.

He lets his beer in the table next to them and he gently grabs her hand, earning a surprised gasp from her.  

“I know you wouldn’t ever do that Sans, you are too polite to even raise your voice during a dinner. And that’s a pity because Jon really deserves to be told that he’s an idiot sometimes.” He starts, her mouth curling on a small smile. “I asked because you are my friend, because I care about you. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable here, so if there’s anything I can do to help you feel free to tell me.”

(And although it’s true it’s not the entire truth. She is his friend, yes, but he also wishes she was more than that.)

Sansa looks at him, a soft smile still on her lips, and her gaze falls down at her hands. He can see the way her fingers fidget, a habit she’d never grown out of.

“I’m alright, really, I am. It’s just that I was a little angry about the fact that you liked one of the people I most despise. I was feeling a bit betrayed, but that’s all.” She confides in him.

He lets out a soft laugh, finding funny how Sansa Stark of all people believed he liked Daenerys.

“I’m serious, don’t laugh at me you arsehole.” She recriminates him, but there’s a soft hint of playfulness on her voice that he does not miss.

“God, it’s so funny the idea of you thinking I like her, the woman that’s been asking me for advice on proposing marriage on my sister of all people. Really, you should write comedy, sweetheart, you’d make a fortune.” He laughs.

“Ha ha, you are so funny.” She replies with evident sarcasm on her voice.

He smiles at her, her hair glowing like a wildfire in this light. She looks like nothing he’s ever seen, beautiful but dangerous.

“Dinner is ready, lovebirds, you two should come inside before Mom gets angry.” Yara announces, opening the backdoor for them to come back on the house.

He rises from his seat, extending his hand to Sansa.

“Let’s go babe, they are waiting for us.” He says, her hand safe into his.

Sansa gives him a faint peck on the lips before entering his house and he feels his heart stopping for a second.

God how he _wants_ her. Not that he’ll have her in any other way that is not _this_ but hey, dreaming is free.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry dany and sansa will eventually get over their dislike for each other, I'm not planning on them being enemies haha, actually I wanted them to be friends on the show but I can understand why she weren't ofc so I tried to kind of translate it onto this.


	3. iii. ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, in another universe, it wouldn’t be so bad, you know, the whole mother loving her daughter in law thing, but the thing is that Sansa is not really his girlfriend and that his mother is going to be devastated when all of this end.  
> (Although he suspects she is not going to be the only one devastated.  
> And he is not thinking about Yara.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this took me forever to write, i suck at dialogues ugh and had my exams all over june but hey on monday ill be free to write the 28934 theonsa aus I plan to write!   
> Sorry if this is too boring cause I feel like nothing is happening but I had to get over with the dinner already cause there's more coming!!  
> Like always english isn't my first language and this is un-beta-ed so expect lots and lots of mistakes haha.   
> Thank for all your suppport, your comments makes my day <3

xxxi.

So, this _thing_ is going to bite his ass in the end because it’s not that his mother likes Sansa, it’s that she _fucking_ loves Sansa. He can see it in the way her eyes lit every time Sansa compliments her, or in the way she seems to forget that Sansa is a Stark, the daughter of her sworn enemy, Ned Stark. Even Yara notices their mother's behavior towards her, sending him a significant glance.

And, in another universe, it wouldn’t be so bad, you know, the whole mother loving her daughter in law thing, but the thing is that Sansa is not really his girlfriend and that his mother is going to be devastated when all of this end.

 (Although he suspects she is not going to be the only one devastated.

And he is not thinking about Yara.)

“So, what are you doing now Sansa? Are you working, studying?” His mother asks her.

“Well, to be honest, I’m not doing much right now. I spent two years studying in college, but it just wasn’t what I expected so I came back.” She tells her, an embarrassed smile on her face.

And he knows that is the way Sansa is, she never gives herself any credit, but he hates the way she puts herself down. It reminds him of all the times her asshole of an ex did that to her.

“C’mon Sans don’t give yourself so little credit.” He interrupts her, a proud smile on his lips. “She is actually managing all the Starks Inc.’s social accounts and she is doing a _fucking_ amazing job with that.”

Sansa looks at him as if he is saying something that makes no sense.

“I’m not doing anything anybody couldn’t do, it’s just uploading a few photos and replying to people’s tweets, not much.” She protests, her mouth curving into an indignant grimace.

He wants to kiss her, right here right now, but _that_ is nothing new.

“Sansa, babe, Robb sucked at it, and don’t get me started on Arya’s way of _relating to the public_ , God, I still have nightmares with _that._ ” He says, his face contorting into a face of pure horror.

She actually laughs at his words, and he knows exactly what she is thinking of. He still can remember that day like it had been yesterday, Ned Stark’s face was unforgettable, and Catelyn’s screams could be heard all the way to Pyke.

He feels the gaze of his mother on him and Yara’s amusing smile at their banter, and he wants to tell them about that day, but, in the last moment decides not to, keeping it a secret between Sansa and him.

“You know Robb has the same sense of aesthetics as a brick, so it wasn’t like the bar was too high.” She says matter-of-factly.

He snorts and takes a gulp of his beer.

“You are insufferable Stark.” He grunts but there’s a smile on his face.

He doesn’t mean it, and he knows she is aware of that, but it’s funny to pretend that he does, in the way long time couples bicker.

He looks at her, there’s a soft smile on her face, and a faint blush on her cheeks. He loves the way her cheeks seem to match her hair, imagining all the situations that could bring her to feel embarrassed in that lovely kind of way.

(All the situations he’s not allowed to have, Sansa Stark’s blush is something he does not deserve, and he is well aware of _that_.

Not that being aware of it makes his situation less painful.)

 

xxxii.

Their door rings and his mother rise from her seat to open the door. Sansa can see the way Theon looks at his sister, a question clearly on his eyes.

“I thought it was going to be only us tonight.” He says casually, but she can tell that there’s some edge on his words.

She wants to believe so badly that he’s saying that only to comfort her, and it’s not like it’s something completely unbelievable, all Theon’s been doing all day was making sure she was okay with anything, it’s more like she doesn’t want to analyze why she wants so desperately for him to care about her.

(And she knows he does care about her, she is sure of that, but not in the way she wants him to, not in the way she is starting to care about him.)

“Nah, it’s just uncle Rodrik, Mom told him about Sansa and then invited him.” Yara replied to him.

“Why is everyone so invested about it? It’s not like Sansa is my first girlfriend ever.” He sighs.

She can feel the pang of jealousy in her chest at the though of his other girlfriends. There have been a few ones he considered _serious_ , but most of his relationships had ended on a few fucks. Not that he told her that himself, of course.

“It’s the first one you’ve brought home baby brother, so it counts as the first one for us.” Yara says, a smug smile on her lips.

Daenerys is by her side, looking at them with an odd expression on her face. There's something about the way she is watching them she doesn’t like, but there’s few things she does like about Daenerys so it’s not a surprise.

Yara and Theon’s bickering is stopped by the sound of someone stepping into the room. Alannys is accompanied by an older man, and she guesses that’s their uncle. Yara gets up to meet him, a smile on her face, and Theon copies her. She can tell by the way his face light up that his uncle is probably one of the few members of his family he likes.

His face is open, a soft smile on his lips and his eyes resemble the calm sea. She definitely likes this look on him.

(Not that there’s any look she doesn’t like on him of course, but this is he favorite ever.)

He greets Theon and Yara in the same way her uncle Benjen does to her and her siblings, and she wonders if they have met by any chance. Probably not, but he reminds her of her uncle in a way not many people do.

“And there she is Sansa, Theon’s girlfriend.” Alannys introduces her, touching her shoulder faintly.

“Hi, I’m Sansa Stark, nice to meet you sir.” She says politely, and she earns a laugh from him.

“It’s an honor to meet you my lady, I’ve dying to see if that woman that my nephew talked about was real or if it was another of his inventions.” He tells her winking his eye and she knows she likes him on the instant.

He resembles Theon too, in a way his mother doesn’t. They have the same mischievous glint in their eyes, although Rodrik looks far more composed than his nephew.

But she likes Theon the way he is. Even though she _shouldn’t_.

 

xxxiii.

“ _Uncle_ please, don’t embarrass me in front of her.” He implores.

The dinner was going strangely well given the circumstances, and he’ll go as far as saying that Sansa looks like she is having fun, so, right here right now the last thing he wants is for Sansa to see the kind of idiot he is and realize that even having him as her fake boyfriend is something she cannot bear.

(And he knows that sounds like something Sansa would never do, betray him on the last second, but his crippling anxiety makes him think otherwise.

God, he hates being that stupid over anything Sansa related.

Except that he doesn’t.)

“Oh, please, dear _nephew_ , I know you surely embarrassed yourself enough in front of her.”

And just when he was about to reply to his uncle, her hand falls on his, her finger softly caressing the back of his hand. And then, he looks at her, and, for a moment, he forgets where they are, the brightness of her smile blinding everything else in the room. He watches her lips form words that does not reach him, too lost of the blue of her eyes to really care.

Sansa looks at him like she is expecting an answer, and, suddenly he realizes that she has just said something and that he blatantly ignored her.

(He did not _ignore_ her, he didn’t listen at her, of course, but it was because he was too busy looking at her lips. That counts as an excuse, doesn’t it?)

“What did you say babe?” He asks her, trying to sound less embarrassed than what he truly feels.

Yara lets out a loud scoff and his mother sighs, but there’s the faint hint of a smile on her lips.

“I said that you making a fool of yourself is part of your natural charm.” Sansa replies, a teasing smile on her lips.

 “Oh, but you love me for it, don’t you?” He asks her, a smugly smile on his lips.

He knows he shouldn’t test their boundaries like that, but he is loving every second of it. He used to think Sansa to be one of the girls that would shy away from his flirting—

(Not that he’d ever consider flirting with _her,_ let’s be honest Sansa Stark has always been out of his league.)

And now he is discovering that not only she does not shy away, but flirts _back._ He can feel himself falling harder for her. Not that he wasn’t halfway there before all of this.

Sansa Stark has always been the woman of his life, what a pity he is never going the be the man of hers.

 

xxxiv.

“I guess I’m the smart one of the two of us.”

“And the pretty one too, babe.” He winks at her.

Theon Greyjoy is going to be her death cause, or, more accurately, his _flirting._ She has always known he was a flirt but oh how she ignored the real magnitude of that statement.

She enjoys _this_ , their easy banter with hints of flirting, it makes her feel special, it makes her feel wanted. And that’s why she knows is going to end up bad.

(She is used to not get what she wants, to get her hopes up and then fall to the ground, each drop more painful than before. And _that_ is not going to happen this time, no, she refuses to be the one that ends up hurt.

But, saying that is easy while acting on it is pretty damm difficult.)

“Oh, don’t say that, you are really pretty too.” She replies to him, a smile coming easy to her lips.

(He has that effect on her, he only has to say a word to get her all smiley. She doesn’t find it as irritating as she should, but there’s an awful lot of this she _should_ do that she _doesn’t._

And Theon Greyjoy is related to most of them.)

His family laughs with her joke and she feels accepted by them, not only that, she feels cherished by his family in a way she has never felt before outside her family. Maybe that’s how normal people feel when they met the family of their significant other.

She doesn’t want Theon to break up with her and lose _this_.

(Not that she really has it, of course, she is more than aware than whatever goes on between them tonight is nothing more than the product of an agreement they made.

But oh, how she wants thing to be different, like, entirely different.

A good different.)

 

 xxxv.

He can’t help but let out a soft chuckle hearing her words with an odd sense of proudness of her ability to have his family in her pocket. Not that he had a doubt about it, but still, it feels nice to watch her winning everyone over.

There is absolutely nothing in this world that Sansa Stark can’t _do._

(Except for loving him, but that has mostly to do with _himself_ than with her.)

 

xxxvi.

She helps him and Yara pick up everything from the dinner, even though everyone insisted her not to.

“Hey sweetheart let me do that, you are our guest.” He says, trying to take the dishes from her hands, but she dodges him.

“I want to help, Theon, I’d hate to sit there watching how you do all the work.” She replies her gaze fixed on him.

She is looking at him with those blue eyes he so much adores, and he feels like there’s absolutely nothing in the world he can deny her. So, he agrees, and she gifts him a small smile, her eyes filled with something he can not quite place yet.

And, without a warning, she kisses his cheek, a chaste brief kiss that makes his head spin without control nonetheless. He can feel the way his lips are curling into a dopey smile, but he doesn’t stop them, too busy processing what she has just done.

Sansa turns her back at him, going to drop all the dishes in the kitchen and he just stands there, watching her like he is looking at the most wonderful sunset ever.

(Sansa Stark is far more beautiful than any sunset _or_ sunrise ever so _maybe_ that is not really a nice comparison, but he is never been too poetic.

Although if she asked him to, he could be the next _Shakespeare_ or whoever she wanted him to.)

(He is an idiot, yes, there’s no denial on that.)

 

xxxvii.

“Don’t be silly you are not going to drive back at this hour when there’s plenty of room here for you.” Alannys says with an indignant tone in her voice.

“Mom please, I have work to do tomorrow and Sansa hasn’t got any clothes, we’ll be back another weekend.” He pleads with a voice that reminds her of a little boy asking his mother for a few more cookies.

She knows she shouldn’t find the thought of him as a kid with his mom as endearing as she finds it, but she does anyway.

“Nonsense, Yara or Dany can lend her any clothes and I know you don’t work tomorrow.” She chided.

Theon looks at his sister, his brow furrowing. Yara lets out a soft laugh raising her hands in surrender.

“You traitor.” He hisses.

She puts her hand on his shoulder, a soft gesture to remind him of her presence there. Theon turns his head at her almost instantly, his face turning calmer than before. If she didn’t know him, she’d bought his performance of the lovesick fool, but she knows better than that.

There’s no way Theon Greyjoy will ever see her as anything more than the friend he’d fucked if given the opportunity. But that’s not the line of thought she should be having on this moment, no. Thinking about things that most probably won’t ever happen is not the best thing for her.

(Although that doesn’t mean she won’t do it again. And again. And _again_.)

“I don’t mind staying. It’s not a big deal, I can sleep in anything and your mom is right, is kind of late now. My mom surely wouldn’t let us drive this late neither.”

He grabs her hand, his fingers entangling on hers.

“You sure about it, Sansa?” He asks her, and the fact that he is using her name instead of any pet names assures her that he is _really_ asking her, that there’s not trace of pretending on his question.

She likes how he always tries to make sure that she is comfortable with any choice being made. It makes her feel something she has never experienced before.  

(And she knows _that_ is basic human decency but none of the guys she has dated have ever treat her like that and her heart aches. The only guy who’d ever treat her right isn’t even dating her, what kind of sick joke is that?)

“Don’t worry, I’m sure I can handle a night with you Greyjoy.” She teases him.

And the thing is, she didn’t intend it to sound like some kind of sexual innuendo, more like the friendly like banter they are used to but the faces of everyone in the room tells her that absolutely no one —not one fucking person— thought of it in the same way she did.

Theon is looking at her with an odd expression, there’s a lopsided grin on his lips and his eyes are darker than she’s ever seen but there’s also a vulnerability in his gaze she doesn’t wholly comprehend.

“You said it, not me.” He babbles.

For a second, he looks at her lips, wetting his own, and she is sure he is going to kiss her, and, the surprising part of it all, is that she _wants_ him to.

(It really isn’t surprising, she thinks to herself, she’d gladly let him kiss her in every inch of her body, even thought that would only mean more headaches for her. Theon Greyjoy is one of the people she shouldn’t find herself wanting.

But she does anyway.

And, she doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.)

 

xxxviii.

He is going to die tonight, of that, he is sure. Theon Greyjoy dead at 26, cause of death? Sansa Stark in his shirt. That’s it.

(It’s not fair how good she looks with his clothes, it isn’t. Not that he is going to complain about it, of course, he’s an idiot but not _that_ kind of idiot, mind him.)

Right now, in the gloom of his room, the only thing he wants to do is kiss her. Kiss her until his lips ache, kiss her until she can’t remember her own name. But he can’t do that. Not to her, Sansa deserves someone that’s not as fucked up as him, someone that has soft hands and no baggage. Someone that’s not her brother’s best friend.

Someone that’s not him.

He’s used to this kind of thoughts lately, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt him to think about it once more. Sansa has that effect on him, it’s not really his fault.

 

xxxix.

It really is his fault for falling for the one person he won’t ever deserve.

 

xl.

“Don’t you dare to tell me that you are going to sleep on the floor.”

Her face is serious, her mouth a fine line, although there’s a soft look on her eyes that tells him more than she wants to.

“I wasn’t going to, sweetheart you think too highly of me.” He teases her with a playful smile on his lips.

She is sitting on the edge of his bed, her hair collected on a messy braid, ready to go to sleep. If he closes his eyes, he can pretend this is their everyday, going to bed together, waking up next to her, their own room.

“Don’t you sass me Theon, I know that deep down you are a softie.” She jests.

He scoffs, his smile wide, and he cross the room to sit by her side. Sansa is still looking at him, a soft smile on her lips.

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor if you are more comfortable that way.” He whispers, his hand reaching to hold hers.

“Theon Greyjoy get on the bed with me.” She orders him and he really shouldn’t find it kind of hot being bossed by her but who cares at this point.

“As my lady commands.” He jokes but he pushes his bedsheets to get into the bed.

Sansa moves herself away from him, to make room in the bed for him. His bed isn’t big enough for them to be too apart from each other, but Sansa manages to have a little space between them. She’s already on the bed, looking at him with her sweet blue eyes he so much adores.

“Hey.” He says, once he is tucked on the bed, his hand inches apart from her face resting on the pillow they are currently sharing.

“Hey.” She replies, a soft smile on her lips.

He is not a person of silences, his words always filling every gap between conversations, but right now in the bed with her, he’s afraid of saying anything that could ruin this moment. This silence is not oppressive, doesn’t feel like a weigh on his shoulders, more like a soft blanket on a cold morning.  

Every silence with Sansa feels like that, _Sansa_ feels like that.

_This_ wasn’t the best of his ideas.

 

xli.

Green eyes pierce into her blue ones with a fragility she is not used to see on them. In this light, Theon Greyjoy looks softer, almost ethereal. She wants to touch him just to make sure he is not going to disappear in any moment.

(She doesn’t, too scared that if she did, she’d never be able to stop.)

His light curls fall upon his face, a small smile on his lips. There’s an odd feeling on her belly, and she wants to say anything just to break the moment, but no word escape from her lips.

She can see how his gaze fall on her lips, his eyes darkening for a second and, when she’s sure he is going to kiss her, he sighs and roll onto his back.

“Sleep well Sans.” He whispers to the dark, not looking at her.

“You too.” She replies, still looking at his profile.

The feeling of his hand against her own startles her for a second, but she doesn’t say anything, basking on the sensation. She could get used to this, the sound of his breath and rhythm of his chest against her back. With a satisfied smile, she closes her eyes, hoping for a night free of nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they shared a bed omg what could go wrong?


	4. iv. ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon Greyjoy is used to feeling lonely, that’s not anything new. Loneliness has accompanied him all his life, like an old friend. Even in moments where he wasn’t alone at all, there was a hint of that loneliness that consumed him with ferocity.   
> That is, of course, until Sansa Stark stormed into his life changing everything in a matter of weeks. A tempest in the form of a woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I'm back! It only took me a quarentine a pandemic disease to finish writing my fic! Sorry to make you wait for so long but this year has been too intense for me (in a good way). Hope y'all stay inside (reading my fic haha) and be safe!
> 
> God I missed them so much, they are literally the softest tm. 
> 
> Like always english isn't my first language and this is un-beta-ed so expect lots and lots of mistakes haha.  
> Thank for all your suppport, your comments makes my day <3

xlii. 

Sunlight filters through the blinds, slightly illuminating the room. Her eyes flutter open, light waking her. Sansa is used to be the first one to wake with any hint of light outside, she is a light sleeper, always had been. What she does not expect is to find Theon right next to her, snoring softly. And then, all memories from last night comes to her, the dinner, his family, the small touches, his smile. All.

She can’t help but let a small smile appear on her lips at the memory of it, her heart beating faster for a few seconds.

Theon’s face is soft and open, a look she’s never seen on his face. He has a small smile hanging off his lips and there’s nothing in the world right here, right now that she wants more than to kiss him. It’s not really her fault, she thinks, if he didn’t just look like _that,_ she wouldn’t have the _imperative_ need to touch him.

(She always has that need, but, right now, in that light, she can convince herself that it’s his fault.)

She raises her hand to touch his hair, knowing that Theon is most likely not going to be woken by that. He’s a heavy sleeper, something she is familiar with. Thinking about it reminds her of all the times he has spent sleeping on his house, and how he always was the last one to get up from bed, even when Robb had been awake for hours.

He sighs in his dreams, and she quits her hand swiftly, afraid of the possibility of him finding out what she had been doing. Not that there’s anything wrong with a softly strictly platonic touch, of course.

(Just as platonic as the devastating longing of kissing his lips, of course.)

 

xliii. 

What she does not expect is for Daenerys to be awake too and drinking coffee alone in the middle of the kitchen.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t know you were awake too, sorry to disturb you.” Sansa lets out the instant the other girl looks at her.

Her long hair is disheveled and there are still some marks on her face from the bed sheets. Like this, she looks almost human.

( _Almost,_ she remarks herself, there’s nothing commonly human about Daenerys Targaryen, she thinks with a bitter tone.)

“Don’t apologize, you have not disturbed me at all Sansa.” Daenerys says, a half smile on her face and she pats the sit next to her. “You are a morning person too, I assume.”

Sansa sits there, her fingers aching to have something to distract herself with.

“Yeah, I’ve always been, and I still don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse.” Sansa tells her.

Daenerys let out a soft laugh.

“I’ve always said that to Yara too.” She replies, a soft smile playing on her lips. “The Greyjoys always love to spend as much time as they can in the bed, don’t they?”

Sansa nods.

“Even when he was a teenager and he was only Robb’s friend he was the last one to wake up in the house.” Sansa tells hers, her lips curling on a smile. “I don’t mind it tho, I like to be the one to wake him.”

Daenerys looks at her with a tender look on her eyes.

“I know that feeling. Yara hates to be waken before noon, but don’t seem to mind at all if I’m the one that does it.” She whispers, curling a strand of hair between her fingers.

There’s something about the way Daenerys talks about Yara that makes her ache for something like _that_ , a connection of mutual trust and love.

“Oh, I didn’t mention that if you want some coffee or anything, there are some cups next to the fridge.” Daenerys tells her, with an easy smile on her lips. “I’ve been here enough times to know where everything is, I guess.”

“Coffee sounds nice, thanks Daenerys.” Sansa replies, her manners stopping her from any kind of confrontation.

(Not that she wants any with her, not anymore, Daenerys and she may not have started on the best of foots but she doesn’t want the other girl to hate her more than she already does.)

“Call me Dany, everyone does.” Dany enjoins her.

Daenerys smiles at her, soft and friendly, and, for a moment, she starts to doubt the notion that the other woman _hates_ her.

“I know, Theon calls you that, but I thought maybe you didn’t want me calling you that.” Sansa mumbles.

“Why?” The other woman asks.

“I don’t know, I felt like you didn’t like me at all.” Sansa confess, the fear of having that assumption confirmed consuming her. It’s one thing to _think_ that someone hates you, but it’s a completely other thing to _know_ it.

Dany lets out a laugh, but it’s not a mean laugh, more of a _I can’t believe what you have just said_ laugh.

“I guess we didn’t have the best of impressions when we met each other the first time, but I always thought it had more to do with the circumstances around us.” Dany began to tell her, her eyes never leaving Sansa’s face. “And, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to have a fresh start with you now, after all, we may end up being family.”

“There’s nothing that I’d like more than that.” Sansa says, as Dany beams, and, maybe, she considers that she has been to hard on the other girl.

The thought of being part of the Greyjoy family, of being Theon’s family, makes her smile, feeling oddly happy at the mere idea of that.

(Though, she is actually part of his family, not in the way she _wants,_ but apparently the whole universe hates her and the idea of her having any kind of happiness in her life.

At least, she thinks, she is something to him. And that should be enough for her.

Except that it’s not.)

 

xliv. 

Alannys hugs her with a ferocity she couldn’t anticipate, and she hugs her back feeling oddly comforted by her hug. Theon looks at her from behind his mother, and she can see the look of worry in his eyes. She smiles at him and with that he relaxes almost immediately. She can recognize all his moods instantly just looking at him, but she does not want to think about that, in the same way she doesn’t want to think about what is going to happen once they get back to their lives, will they continue all of this façade for a while or will they pretend to break up the second they get back?

She knows what she wants to do, of course, there’s not a doubt in her mind, but she’s also are that it’s not likely to happen. Theon Greyjoy doesn’t fancy her, he does not want her in the same way she does, and even if he did, she is not going to risk their current friendship for a fleeting romance full of uncertainties. She is not going to recover from the pain of having him just for a few weeks.

So, she does what she excels at. She pretends it doesn’t ache.

(Even though it’s burning like a thousand cuts.)

 

xlv.

The drive back home is insufferable. Long gone are the jokes and the jitters about the situation, long gone are, too, the soft smiles she gifted him in the car days ago. Sansa doesn’t look at him anymore and he can’t help but wonder if he crossed any lines.

(Of course, _he_ did, she is not a fool and anyone with eyes can see the way his eyes light up whenever he so much looks at her, the way _he,_ Theon fucking Greyjoy, softens at the sight of her smile.

And he may be many things, but he is not the kind of person that does _that_ sort of things, the kind of things she has spent all her life wishing someone did to her.

Someone that is not him.

Someone that is _never_ been him.)

 

xlvi.

“Everything all right up there, princess?” He asks, a bright smile on his lips. She looks at him, trying to act like everything is fine.

(Except that is not. It’s never going to be fine. Not when he is looking like that and not being hers. Not when he’ll probably have dozens of girls waiting for him back home.

Not when she is beginning to fall in love with him despite everything.

Not when he is never going to feel the same way about her.

No, it’s not.)

“I’m just a bit tired, and I miss Lady. I can’t wait to get home to her even though it’s only been a day.” She sights, pretending to look at her nails.

She knows that he can tell that she’s lying. He always knows that, almost like he can read his mind.

(She hopes that’s not a superpower of his, or else she’d be doomed.

Love can really turn you that stupid, can’t it?)

“Yeah, my family can be a little… too much. I hope they didn’t make a bad impression on you.” He says, his voice strangely soft, a characteristic so strange to him that’s almost unbelievable.

Almost.

(Sansa believes that softness is only reserved to these kind of moments, moments where the real Theon comes out, the person he really is behind all that façade.

 She finds out she likes this new side of Theon Greyjoy.

She finds out she likes _all_ the sides of Theon fucking Greyjoy.

And she is not remotely sorry about that. Not at all.)

 

xlvii.

“Yeah, my family can be a little… too much. I hope they didn’t make a bad impression on you.”

Sansa snorts, her eyes meeting his for the first time since they got in the car.  

“They are awesome. I absolutely adore your mom.” She says, a soft smile playing on her lips.

And, if she were anyone else, he’d think she’s lying. But, that’s the thing about Sansa Stark, she always sees the best in people. Maybe that’s why she is doing him this favor. Or maybe it’s just because he is the best friend of her older brother, because he is part of her family. And, there’s nothing more import for the Starks than their family.

(Although, a part of him wishes that she is doing this because she truly cares about him, about his happiness.

A part of him wishes that the _thing_ that happened between them was real.

A part of him _wishes_ , a part of him _wants_ , but he mutes that part of him.

There’s no reason to indulge himself in fake hopes. There is not.)

“Do you think they liked me?” She asks, her voice bringing him out of his fantasies. She sounds so timid suddenly, her voice a whisper, and he can’t help but look at her for just a second.

“Are you serious? They _fucking_ adore you Sans. My mom is going to be really pissed when I tell her we have broken up, and don’t get me started on Yara, God, she is going to lecture me so bad. I can almost hear her say how everything is my fault…” He rambles, trying to let her show that she is finally free from him.

(Not that she wasn’t before, but knowing Sansa Stark, she’d rather give him her freedom before denying someone a favor.

And he’s not _that_ kind of arsehole, the kind that takes and takes and takes, until there’s not much left.

No. He is going to accept whatever she wants, even if she wants nothing but to never hear from him again.)

 

xlviii.

“Are you serious? They _fucking_ adore you Sans. My mom is going to be really pissed when I tell her we have broken up, and don’t get me started on Yara, God, she is going to lecture me so bad. I can almost hear her say how everything is my fault…”

It shouldn’t hurt that much, she tells herself, it had always been an end to this, that’s nothing new, but the fact that he looks so cheerful about not wanting to pretend anymore aches in ways she hadn’t anticipated.

(It’s not a surprise, though, he doesn’t want her to get her hopes up. Theon Greyjoy might be a lot of things, but he is not a liar nor is he cruel.

He is probably just saving her time not knowing the truth behind it all.

And the truth is, that she doesn’t want this to end.

Not now, not never.)

“You can tell them is my fault somehow, like, maybe I met another dude and liked him better than you. I mean no offense though.” She surprises herself saying.

She watches as Theon gifts her an ironic smile.

“That’s nothing like you, sweetheart, you are a keeper.” He says, and, for a moment, she can swear that she hears a hint of longing in his voice.

But that belief it only lasts a moment, because it simply cannot be possible. Theon Greyjoy does not want her in the way she wants him to. Maybe he won’t turn down a chance to make out with her, but that’s all he would ever want with her. After all, she had always been just a silly girl for him.

“And what’s something I’d do?” She inquires, her brow raised.

“I’ll mess up somehow, you know me, I’ve never been the type of person that lasts long in relationships, and you’ll end up hurt. Then you’ll tell me that I am no good to you, and I would probably beg you for another chance even though I know that’s completely true. And then, you’ll turn around and walk away.” He sighs. “That’s more likely, don’t you think princess?”

 

xlx.

“And you’ll give up on me that easy?” The question leaves her lips before she can control herself.

Theon let a soft laughter escape from his mouth, but not a happy one. And she _knows_ he is hurt by her words in a way she cannot fully comprehend.

 

xlxi.

“What am I supposed to do? And it’s a hypothetical scenario sweetheart, it’s not like we were together.” He says, matter-of-factly.  

It hurts more when he says it, a piercing ache. It makes her activate her fight or flight response and she wants to run, to hide, to hurt, to do whatever is necessary to stop this pain.

“I know. It’s not like we would ever be together. It’s crazy.” She agrees.

He sighs and does not look at her for the rest of the travel.

(The guilt is eating her alive, but she is not going to apologize for saying the truth, what did he wanted? For her to beg for his love?

No, Sansa Stark does not beg.)

 

l.

Theon Greyjoy is used to feeling lonely, that’s not anything new. Loneliness has accompanied him all his life, like an old friend. Even in moments where he wasn’t alone at all, there was a hint of that loneliness that consumed him with ferocity.

That is, of course, until Sansa Stark stormed into his life changing everything in a matter of weeks. A tempest in the form of a woman.  

(Except for the fact that she is made of flesh and bones, and her presence is sweeter than any natural disaster would ever be.

Except for the fact that she is not going to leave any survivors.

Except for the fact that he won’t regret a single thing about her.)

He misses her, in a way he hasn’t missed anyone in years. His life becomes a meaningless mess of days that follow one after another.

He wants to reach to her, call her, message her, whatever. He feels the wanting piercing his soul, his fingertips aching for the familiarity of her soft skin. But he knows she does not want that, she made it very clear in the way back.

And, Theon Greyjoy may be many things, but he is not the kind of guy who cannot take a no for an answer.

(That doesn’t mean it hurts less, but hey, he’ll get better with time.

Or so does he hope.)

 

li.

Their story continues in the strangest of ways, like most stories does.

One second, she is dining with her family, everyone gathered up around the table, laughing, talking, drinking. Just a normal family dinner in the Stark’s house. Everyone is there, from Jon to Bran, from Ygritte to Talisa.

And the next second, Robb is on his knees, a ring in his hand, and suddenly everyone is celebrating, and her mother is crying. Jon hugs him tightly and she kisses her new sister in law, her smile so wide it hurts.

And, in between all that happiness, something ugly writhes on her chest. She loves her brother, there’s not a single doubt about that, but she also _envies_ him. But that is not something she’ll ever tell him. Not now, not never.

 

lii.

When she gets home, Lady is waiting for her.

She tries not to think about what it feels to have someone waiting for her. Someone whose eyes light up the second she gets through the door, a soft smile on their lips as they listen to whatever thing she wants to tell them about her day.

She tries not to think about the fact the she already knows who she wants that someone to be.

 

liii.

She tries, really _really_ tries, but she fails.

 And it hurts even more than before.

 

liv.

His phone light up in the middle of the night. He guesses Yara it’s bored. Or Dany is trying to make a surprise for her.

What he doesn’t expect is for Sansa _fucking_ Stark to send him a message.

**Sansa** **🐺** **(00:34)**

Lady misses you

Not me ofc

And no, this isn’t a booty call.

He _snorts_ and it’s both the best and the worst thing that could happen to him tonight. He wants her, there’s no denial on that, not only in the physical sense, and _that_ is the thing he fears the most.

He does not want to suffer the kind of aching that comes with a broken heart.  

(He already suffers it.

And he finds it strangely funny that he is not minding, like, at all.)

 

lv.

**Theon** **🐙 (00:34)**

what a pity

a booty call from Sansa Stark, oh the dream

I miss u too Sans, I mean, Lady

Ofc ;)

**Sansa** **🐺** **(00:36)**

Hahaha

You won’t ever change

Do you want to hangout some day? I’m free on thursdays

**Theon** **🐙** **(00:37)**

Count me in!

It’s a date then

**Sansa** **🐺 (00:38)**

No it’s not u silly

**Theon** **🐙** **(00:39)**

Whatever you say princess ;)

 

lvi.

It’s not a date, she tells herself, but still she wears her favorite skirt, butterflies on her stomach.

 

lvii.

It’s not a date, he tells himself, but still he looks at himself twice before going out, his hand shaking a little.

 

lviii.

And so, it continues, Thursday nights becoming a thing between the two of them. Takeout for dinner and cheap wine, sometimes a movie or two. Sometimes a tv show they both want to see, something they promise each other not to continue when the other one is not around.

Every week, he gets something for Lady too, and every week she smiles as wide as the sun.

It feels domestic, it feels warm, it feels _nice_.

(It’ll probably feel terribly painful when all of this ends.

Because it always ends. Sansa Stark may not know many things, but of what she is sure is of that.

Everyone keeps leaving her. And her heart probably won’t survive his departure.)

 

lix.

**Robb (16:23)**

Are you going to bring a plus one to the wedding?

**Sansa (16:24)**

Nope.

You know I’m not dating anyone rn.

**Robb (16:25)**

I know but

Joffrey is going to be there, you know, since Robbert and Dad are friends.

I swear I didn’t want to invite him but mom told me I should

And I thought I should let you know

**Sansa (16:27)**

Don’t worry about that, I know, mom told me too

And what am I supposed to do with a plus one?

Make him jealous? God no

**Robb (16:28)**

That’s not what I mean Sans

It’s just that I don’t want him to bother you

Or Cersei

**Sansa (16:29)**

Having someone as a plus one would be great, I wont lie, but I don’t know who

**Robb (16:30)**

You could ask Jeyne

But Theon is free too, and I won’t have to watch over him

**Sansa (16:31)**

(…)

(…)

  **Sansa (16:33)**

What do you mean?

 

lx.

“Theon, remember the time you asked me to fake date you to impress your mother?” She asks him.

She wants to know if he remembers the best fucking thing that has happened to him in all of his life as if the memory of it doesn’t haunt him every time he closes his eyes, as if the feeling of her pressed next to him in the morning isn’t burned into his skin.

And he laughs, finding funny the idea ironically funny.

“Don’t laugh at me you idiot, I’m being serious.” She snaps at him.

He knows she is not really angry, not when she is biting her lip to stop a giggle escape. He knows her by now like the back of his hand.

“Of course I remember sweatheart, my mom asks about you every time she calls me and Yara keeps saying that I’m a fool for letting you go.” He replies to her, gifting her with a lopsided grin.  

Sansa looks at him, and for the first time in months there’s an expression on her face that he doesn’t quite get. She seems troubled by something, and he regrets saying anything about his family on the instant. He should have known better, of course hearing about that would get her uncomfortable. He is the stupidest guy out there.  

He doesn’t expect what he hears next, words falling from her mouth that his brain doesn’t process.

“I need you to fake date me now, please.”

Sansa Stark will always be his unachievable goal. And if pretending to date her again is the closest he’ll ever be to love her in the way he so desperately craves, then so be it.

So, he nods, and she smiles so bright and warm he is sure he is going to melt just looking at her.

He finds that he wouldn’t mind being melted by her.  

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to talk to me about theonsa or danyara!!  
> tumblr: everdeenwayland  
> twitter: __anxtria


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